by
Ellen Shuman
I was stuck in a self-defeating cycle! I felt
out-of-control with food! I was either overeating
or dieting. In either mode, I felt I was never
good enough. I had willpower and stick-to-itiveness
in many other areas in my life. So why couldn't
I apply that same resolve to my eating habits?
I wasted so much time, energy, and money.
I was obsessed with my weight. Living like
that was miserable. Today, I understand that
weight was not the real problem. It was actually
a symptom. The real problem was that I was
an "emotional eater".
Emotional Eaters use food to manage feelings.
We use food to self-soothe. People who have
struggled with it, and the professionals who
treat it, call it by many different names;
compulsive overeating, emotional eating, and
food addiction. No matter what it's called,
people USE food because food works!
1. Food works as a tension reliever Both eating
food and thinking about food work as distractions
from uncomfortable feelings. Being food- focused
takes the edge off any feeling that a person
would rather not feel or tolerate (boredom,
stress, anxiety, anger, loneliness, etc.).
For example.You're feeling bored. Suddenly
you find yourself thinking about the ice cream
in the freezer. As soon as you start to think
about the ice cream, you are no longer focused
on feeling bored.
Food and food thoughts can be used in reaction
to and as a defense against any intense feeling
or stressful life situation. The use of food
to manage mood becomes a self-reinforcing
habit. (Today, scientists are also focused
on the biology & brain chemistry of overeating.
There may also be many physiological reason
why we keep turning to food even when it feels
self-defeating to do so?)
2. Emotional Eating happens on a continuum
Emotional eating is normal. We all celebrate
with food. When something sad occurs, friends
and neighbors arrive with cakes and casseroles.
It's only when emotional eating begins to
have impact on one's emotional and/or physical
well-being, and it's used as a person's primary
strategy for mood regulation, that it becomes
a problem. When eating becomes a primary coping
strategy, it greatly impacts a person's quality
of life. At the most extreme point on the
emotional eating continuum, there may be a
diagnosable eating disorder present -such
as bulimia or binge eating disorder-and often,
clinical depression as well.
3.
Here's how food works as a mood regulator:
ØFirst, an emotional eater experiences
an uncomfortable feeling. For example.You
just had a fight with a family member and
you're feeling really angry!
- Next,
you have a FOOD THOUGHT; and you find yourself
reaching for a bag of chips or cookies.
(You may or may not be conscious of when
or why you are having a food thought.) Once
you are focused on the chips, you are no
longer focused on how angry you feel. The
use of food as a distraction works.
- You
eat the chips, warding off the anger for
a little while. Then, the anger comes back.
Now, in addition to the anger, an emotional
overeater has to deal with the guilt and
shame he/she feels every time he or she
eats chips (or any other food that he or
she has labeled "forbidden").
4.
This is the self-defeating cycle--the trap
for an emotional eater Until you develop healthier
coping strategies, and you overcome the "good
food vs. bad food" beliefs, the only
way to avoid the guilt and the shame that
results from emotional overeating--is more
emotional overeating! Every time we swear
we'll be "good" on a diet today,
and then turn back to food for comfort, we
feel like we have "failed". Then,
to "stuff down" our frustration,
or anger, or desperation, we turn back to
food.
5. So, what can you do if Emotional Eating
is a problem? Make a conscious effort to become
more aware of how and why you may be using
food. Develop new skills for mood regulation.
If you need support to do so, find appropriate
professional help (find a class,hire a Coach
or a Licensed Psychotherapist). The focus
should be on self-care and improved emotional
and physical well-being--eating well and being
fit--not on dieting and weight loss. Remember,
dieting is a trap for an emotional eater.
Dieting just leads to more emotional eating.
About
the author: Ellen Shuman is the founder and
Exec. Director of the WellCentered Eating
Disorder Treatment Programs & www.aweighout.com,
which conducts Phone Coaching & Groups
about Emotional Eating to people worldwide.
A Peabody/Emmy Award winning journalist, Shuman
entered the wellness field in 1992 following
an appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Today,
she speaks nationally on the subjects of emotional
eating, body image & size-ism.
